so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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