I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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