Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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