I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
