Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
