Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just had sex on a roof
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
