One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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