fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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