You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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