uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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