Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
