Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
