He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
