why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
