My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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