just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
