Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
