dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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