tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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