I want you more than these girls want KFC
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
