Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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