Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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