I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
