All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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