if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
