you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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