chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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