Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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