My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
