Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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