"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
well you can't waste a boner
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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