He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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