Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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