So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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