I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
