You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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