He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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