found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
