yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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