hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
