there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
