Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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