I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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