Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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