You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
