there's paper in my vomit.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
