is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I forget how to act sober
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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