ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
