Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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