Yo dont text me then not text me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
