Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
