After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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